What Now?

I sit alone in this one room flat

Wondering about this and that

A lifetime has gone by, the years have passed with lies

I didn’t make it, but I tried

*

Love has come and gone

And I was often told I wasn’t enough

It’s not been fair, but It’s be rough

Another day comes and goes

But I’m not longer on my toes

The fire still flickers

Why, I guess God knows

*

What now

Is there still something left for me

What now

Can I still be all I wanted to be

*

This aching in my heart tells me not to let go

Even if the world keeps telling me so

I keep trying, with little to left to show

I may still not have reached the final round

What now

*

I long for the days of youth when I still believed

That I would rule over all the land and sea

Back then the only person I needed to have faith was me

But as time grew colder, I got older

Saw no one there when I looked over my shoulder

*

I lived in a time where I had told myself everything was fine

And for a while I accepted what I told myself, even though it was a lie

One morning I woke up only to find

Myself bitter, twisted, hurt and all alone

After all this time is there any where left to go

*

What now

Is there still something left for me

What now

Can I still be all I wanted to be

This aching in my heart tells me not to let go

Even if the world keeps telling me so

I keep trying, with little to left to show

I may still not have reached the final round

What now

*

I put in so much in trying to continue to grow

And time and time my efforts collapsed like a line of dominoes

The ghost of what was so alive before continues to show

I look for a reason, anything that will come to mind

To keep standing, to fight and stay alive

*

And sometimes I see a vision of the one who’ll set me free

But she too is struggling to get to me

And another moment in time trickles like a drop of water down the sink

As ever I’m left with nothing than a reason to stop and think

*

What now

Is there really anything left for me

What now

How can I be all I want to be

This aching in my heart won’t let this go

Even if everyone keeps telling me so

Here I am still with little to left to show

I know this is not the final round

What now

© Rob Spencer, 2025